6 things every parent should do to survive Mercury retrograde

From April 21st - May 15th, 2023, Mercury is going retrograde. Ya know, because we haven’t already been through enough with this week’s solar eclipse. But as much as people tend to get worked into a pre-emptive panic over Mercury retrograde, there’s no reason to go hide in your bathtub with a cup of tea and your headphones (although hey, we are certainly not going to stop you). In this house, we don’t fear astrology — but we do plan for it. More specifically, we plan to strategically work with whatever astrology comes up, instead of fighting against it.

With that in mind, here’s our go-to shortlist of tactics that every parent should lean on in order to get through Mercury retrograde without everything feeling needlessly frustrating.

Pick your battles

If there’s one thing you probably already know about Mercury retrograde, it’s that this is not exactly an ideal time for communication of any kind. And when you’re talking about kids, whose various developmental stages can make their communication skills a bit…inconsistent, Mercury retrograde doubles down on an area that can already be super challenging. Our advice: wherever you can, let things go. Whether it’s addressing your middle schooler’s homework habits or talking to your co-parent about the annoying way the put the laundry away, if it can wait, let it wait. 

Obviously, there’s no taking a real time out from all parenting conversations, but there was ever a time to use your judgment about which talks really need to happen, it’s now. And as with most things, whatever conversations you put off for a more astrologically advantageous moment will likely only be helped by you having a bit more space and time to get emotional distance and perspective on how you ideally want to show up to that issue.

Opt for simple, clear language with kids

Picking your battles is one thing, but it’s not like you can simply stop interacting with your family every time Mercury is retrograde. And frankly, this is only one kind of astrological event where communication becomes dicey—the planets put us at this kind of disadvantage often enough that we need a better game plan than just shutting up and waiting for the planets to move. So here’s a go-to parenting tactic for any time the communication wires in the universe feel scrambled: choose your words carefully, say exactly what you mean, and always give yourself a little pause to make sure you’re showing up with the tone you intend. 

It doesn’t matter if you’re helping your toddler get dressed in the morning or trying to manage a mid-sleepover squabble between your kid and their friends, your Mercury retrograde parenting strategy is simple and powerful: say what you need to say and get out. Now is not the time to aim for style points with the way you talk to your kids (or their teachers or your partners or anyone else for that matter).

Double-check your calendar

As Mercury is also linked to planning and logistics, Mercury Retrograde could lead to disruptions in family routines, schedules, or planned events. Do yourself the favor of planning ahead to be more adaptable when dealing with unexpected changes.

Admittedly, this seems counterintuitive: can you even plan ahead for the unexpected? Fair enough. What you can do: get yourself into a place where you feel grounded, agile, flexible, and unattached to your plans. Hold calendar commitments very loosely.

Schedule a little extra self-care time

You definitely don’t need any kind of cosmic excuse to schedule a bit more time to nurture, replenish, and do whatever yummy, nourishing things that fill your cup, but let’s be honest, you probably do need a reminder to actually schedule time to do those things. Mercury retrograde can be brutal on the nerves—especially if you have kids—so this is not the time to consider self-care a “nice to have.” It’s a must-have. Recharging is a must. Sometimes you need a bit of a stronger infusion of this than other times, and Mercury retrograde is absolutely one of those times. Literally put a nap on your calendar. Take a four-day workweek and go get acupuncture while your kids are at school. Whatever you can make time for, do it.

Carry an extra charger (always, right?)

We’ll never totally understand how it happens so reliably, but Mercury retrograde truly does love to be an agent of technological chaos. Maybe just double check that your phone is actually plugged in before you go to bed, don’t plan to launch anything that relies on technology to communicate your message (so that newsletter you were planning to launch at work? Maybe hold on that for a few weeks), and always carry a spare charger with you. But hey, that’s good advice anytime. 

Carry a notebook with you everywhere

Mercury retrograde loves to make us reflect on the past and how the past shows up in the present, making it a period where you might be more likely to have random ah-ha moments during the day. This could mean suddenly realizing the way you’ve been approaching an ongoing issue is actually totally not working, or it might mean retroactively seeing a pattern in your kid’s behavior that connects some crucial dots about their personality (aka, a parenting cheat code) — whatever it means for you, Mercury retrograde can be a time where order and structure starts to emerge where there was previously disorder or messiness.

That said, Mercury retrograde’s disruption of communication also extends to the clarity and continuity of our own thoughts—which means as soon as these mini-revelations occur to you, you might quickly forget them. From all sides, this is a good time to keep a pen and paper handy (or, let’s be honest, your Notes app) so you can turn Mercury retrograde into a surprisingly constructive moment in your year.